Unintended Break
September 18th, 2008 by amylherzog
Uh, sorry about that–there was a peculiar and difficult error with my WordPress installation. But it’s fixed now, so here are some pictures!
Family portrait, day 4. Also, I present the following as evidence that all babies look alike:
Daniel, around 1 week old.
Jacob, around 1 week old.
Life with two kids is difficult so far. I thoroughly enjoyed Jacob’s newborn period and had a very easy time with it. Lots of things have been even easier this time around (healing from the birth, nursing, getting Daniel diurnal, etc.). But on the whole, this is well more than twice as hard as one newborn was. Daniel is a much fussier baby than I remember Jacob being, which may just be Daniel, and may be the fact that there is very little catering to the baby this time around.
His needs are all met, of course. He’s fed promptly, and walked when he’s fussy, and changed quickly. But with a three-year-old to keep up with, Daniel doesn’t get the hours of leisurely nursing and napping in my lap that Jacob did. Starting on his first day home, he’s been to Target, to the grocery store, to Jacob’s preschool, to the park, around the neighborhood, up to Maine, down to Providence. He’s up at 6:00am with the rest of us, doing the madcap race to get out of the house in time to drop Jacob off at preschool. (Which Jacob is loving, by the way.)
So, I have to wonder if Jacob would have been this fussy, too, if he’d never had a moment to catch his breath. If he was constantly exposed to slices of the bright, cold world from the side of the Bjorn or peeking out from the Moby wrap. If he was constantly prodded, tickled, giggled at, caressed, all as carefully and gently as a three-year-old can manage.
Sometimes I feel badly for the little guy. But on the other hand, Jacob is the first person Daniel has really looked at, and Jacob is so obviously smitten with the little tyke. I can tell it’s going to be a privilege to watch their relationship develop. And we’re more relaxed and competent parents, too.
Parting gift: Jacob took this picture yesterday. I had the tripod set up with the camera on it, and I showed him how to look through the viewfinder and which button takes the picture. He turned the camera until he saw us, and clicked. He was completely thrilled with himself, of course.
Some things I recall helping us at this stage [P's 2 months shy of 3 years older than I.]:
1) put out all baby swings / bouncy seats /exersaucers etc. a few weeks / months early. Jacob will want to re-explore them. [And ours all took the weight of a 3 yr old without problem]. This way they’re boring by the time Daniel gets to them.
2) Have Jacob pick out new diapers & outfits. We hung one of those fabric shoe holder [looks like a stach of boxy cubbies] from Ian’s closet rod. Socks in one compartment, onesies in another etc. Keeping the stuff used most in easy reach of a 3-yr old.
3) If you can con Jacob into holding the book &/or turning the pages, nursing time becomes story-time.
4) Pointing out to Jacob all the stuff he can do that Daniel can’t – and all the times you make Daniel wait to do stuff / help Jacob. [Even if Daniel is alseep, could care less, etc.].
If you’re interested, I can send you the title & author info on a big brother book that Patrick liked. [It's in his room & I can't get to it now.]
Good luck :)
Amy, the two 1-week photos are remarkable. Daniel will be very lucky if he gets the same good looks that Jacob has. I love reading the blog, you’re a wonderful writer. Glad you’re able to blog again.
Love
Nancy
For what it’s worth, the book is:
http://www.amazon.com/Big-Brother-Padded-Large-Learner/dp/1405475234/
[the binding may be off]
Here is some unsolicited advice, but advice which I found very valuable when we had our second son! Sometimes if Daniel is crying but able to wait; tell him, “I’m sorry Daniel, but you will have to wait it’s Jacob’s turn right now.” Daniel will often be soothed by the sound of your voice and Jacob will be reminded that he is still a priority. It worked well for us. Hope it does for you too. Thank you for sharing the pictures and stories. I love reading them.