Then and now.
September 4th, 2006 by amylherzog
To be honest, Jacob’s birthday got a little overshadowed by the move. Since our belongings actually arrived here on his birthday, he didn’t even get the traditional party-with-a-”1″-candle on his big day. (We celebrated with gifts and the candle and cake later, when my father was visiting.) On-time celebration or not, though, we’ve passed an enormous milestone.
One year ago, we were trying to get the hang of this whole diaper thing. Jacob and I were learning to nurse. Jacob was… well, we’re not sure, really. Learning how to be alive, who his parents are, how to move his limbs intentionally.
It’s impossible to describe the feeling of being handed your first child. Participating in the delicate and awe-inspiring and so very fragile transformation from fetus to self-sustaining person, recognizing the massive responsibility you now hold, seeing flesh and bone and life that you created.
We were unsure of this leap to parenthood. There were times, when I was pregnant, that we would just look at each other and gulp and pray that everything would work out. There have been times since Jacob’s birth when we’ve looked at each other, bone-tired, needing a vacation, wondering how we’d get through the next 24 hours. It’s the most difficult thing I’ve ever done. It has changed literally every facet of my life. But (and this is the part that’s impossible to really understand, I think, until you’ve done it) I would never, ever change even one second.
Now, a year later, we’re blessed to live with this little person, who walks and talks. He has a sense of humor, this incredibly fierce and solemn need to know more, know everything. He applies every last bit of himself to every problem he faces. Every day he shows us the true meaning of joy. I cannot imagine our lives without him. They would be paler, colder, in every way.
We love you, little man. Happy birthday.
